drifted away

i am so drifted away.
i shouldn't feel like this.
i am a fool if i believe in all those words.
all those care.
all those attention that you gave to me.
i wanna throw those things away.
what really attracts me to you?
i know what it is and i should be sensible.
i'm young i know.
i need to control it, i know.
but what happen if i don't want to control it?
i know it is going to be the biggest mistake that i will do in my entire life. but..
arghhh... these fences of mind control suffocate me.

why?

Today something happen to me.
It makes me feel devastated.
it has been 21 years i live with him and not even a moment he changed to be a better person.
why? why you want to control my life?
i was shock by the words you said.
if you really dare me to quit my study and find job.
i will do it once i have the courage. Don't dare me.
Once i do it, please never regret about it because you are the one who push me to the limit.
i will walk away from that house and never return for a long time.
It has been me, i'm the one who try to understand you guys all this time.
have you ever try to understand me?
blaming other people is your expertise isn't?
i'm really angry right now. i feel like i wanna buy a bus ticket to KL right now and find a new job.
later find a place to stay. i have one in mind.
and be independent. abandon my study. i can continue later at the private college.
i don't give a hell about how famous USM is.
i don't give a shit because what i know is, you can find job anywhere as long as you are keen about it.
fuck this shit because all i want to do is to let go my temper.
go to hell with parenting logic.
i had try my best and all they can see is only my fault.
i sound pathetic but if you have problem with what i'm saying. GTFO!
don't read this.