alone and ugly

all i can say is... at the end... im fighting alone...
having insomnia these few days... i don't know... i don't care what other people say...

no matter how many times they said that i'm not alone... but i feel lonely all the time... i may look like i'm taking step forward leaving the life that i used to have but every 5 second, i will turn around and hoping if  there is anyone willing chase after me... and as i expected, every time i turn... i see no one...

i may smile... i may laugh... since there is nothing else to fight for... no more complain will come out from my mouth.... at the end... i'm just a body without soul... a robot without feeling... but then... why everyday i feel hurt? every night crying and begging for mercy... i don't have right to speak isn't? glad to know that even since i was little... every single things weren't enough for you... it never does... i hope you would cry on the day i die... hope you will always remember me... i'm still searching the moment which you would hug me when i'm depressed...

"i think i'm ugly!!! and nobody wants to love me!!!"